Certified Unstable Water Bottle

Hydration is important. So is transparency. This bottle makes no promises about its own behaviour. It has been tested in staging. It passed. Production is a different environment.

32oz double-wall vacuum-insulated stainless steel. Leak-resistant lid. Keeps cold things cold for 24 hours, warm things warm for 12, and your anxiety lukewarm indefinitely. BPA-free. The certification on the label is not from any recognized standards body.

Ships with the factory seal of conditional approval.